I LOVE surprises at Christmastime. I don't want to open presents early, I don't want clues, and I don't want to shake each package in an attempt to guess the contents. Even as a child, I never snooped (and I'm not even just saying that because my parents are reading this)! I can buy gifts months before the holidays and not let my anticipation cause slips of the tongue or give-ins, such as "Well....why don't you go ahead and just open it now". I am able to accomplish this because I have a little thing called discipline, with a side of patience. My husband lacks both.
I had purposefully refrained from telling him that I even had his gift up in my closet for 2 months because I knew that he would A) snoop or B) pester me to death about what I bought him, how much did I spend, will he like it, and "can I have it now?"s. Once I finally let on that his gift was, in fact, in our home, oh boy did the questions begin! He quickly went out and puchased my gift the very next day and tried the "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" bit. P.S. we are not 5-years-old and we are not playing doctor...it's not gonna work! So, last night my guy finally brings the gift home (from his mother's....because God forbid the man learn to wrap) and he sets in in the living room....and it's enormous. My husband stood there, hands on his hips, proud grin on his face (resembling the cat when she kills a mouse for us and waits for a cat treat), expecting me to ask what he got me. When I didn't bite, he proceded to give me clues (even though I had to plug my ears and yell at him to stop), saying "Why don't we just open it tonight....it's too big to bring all the way to your parents' house for Christmas....it will improve our marriage.... come on, I wanna try it out tonight!"
Ok, what in the WORLD did he get me? And is it appropriate to open in front of my family??? (If it's not, I swear we're going to need more than his gift to save our marriage!) It's too big to be earplugs...Ugh, but despite my raised curiosity, I told him that we were going to wait and utilize the before-mentioned discipline and patience. "Oh, fine....just pick it up and go put it by the Christmas tree then," he said (in a last ditch effort to give me a clue....I know this because the thing weighed close to 50 pounds! This is going to improve my marriage by the way). When I couldn't lift the package (hey, I have a bad back) he stood there, again with the grinning! So I ordered him to get the gift over to the tree and to stop dropping hints. Little did I know that he was going to drop the entire present instead, tearing the beautiful paper and probably breaking whatever it is that's supposed to improve our marriage! "Well, we might as well just open it now...."
My look told him otherwise. So, under (well, next to) the tree my giganticaly heavy, marriage-improving gift sits, frantically re-taped together, awaiting it's trip to Michigan. Ooo! Maybe it's Channing Tatum!
I had purposefully refrained from telling him that I even had his gift up in my closet for 2 months because I knew that he would A) snoop or B) pester me to death about what I bought him, how much did I spend, will he like it, and "can I have it now?"s. Once I finally let on that his gift was, in fact, in our home, oh boy did the questions begin! He quickly went out and puchased my gift the very next day and tried the "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" bit. P.S. we are not 5-years-old and we are not playing doctor...it's not gonna work! So, last night my guy finally brings the gift home (from his mother's....because God forbid the man learn to wrap) and he sets in in the living room....and it's enormous. My husband stood there, hands on his hips, proud grin on his face (resembling the cat when she kills a mouse for us and waits for a cat treat), expecting me to ask what he got me. When I didn't bite, he proceded to give me clues (even though I had to plug my ears and yell at him to stop), saying "Why don't we just open it tonight....it's too big to bring all the way to your parents' house for Christmas....it will improve our marriage.... come on, I wanna try it out tonight!"
Ok, what in the WORLD did he get me? And is it appropriate to open in front of my family??? (If it's not, I swear we're going to need more than his gift to save our marriage!) It's too big to be earplugs...Ugh, but despite my raised curiosity, I told him that we were going to wait and utilize the before-mentioned discipline and patience. "Oh, fine....just pick it up and go put it by the Christmas tree then," he said (in a last ditch effort to give me a clue....I know this because the thing weighed close to 50 pounds! This is going to improve my marriage by the way). When I couldn't lift the package (hey, I have a bad back) he stood there, again with the grinning! So I ordered him to get the gift over to the tree and to stop dropping hints. Little did I know that he was going to drop the entire present instead, tearing the beautiful paper and probably breaking whatever it is that's supposed to improve our marriage! "Well, we might as well just open it now...."
My look told him otherwise. So, under (well, next to) the tree my giganticaly heavy, marriage-improving gift sits, frantically re-taped together, awaiting it's trip to Michigan. Ooo! Maybe it's Channing Tatum!
Oh my goodness; that is hysterical....well now we ALL can't wait to see this big, heavy , marriage improving gift that is taped up by a 5 +29 yr kid....LOL. Can't wait to see you; hugs await my daughter :-)!
ReplyDeleteO dear.... I'd say only Pat but the farmer can be the same way... I think that is why he waits til the last minute to do his shopping! LOL Can't wait to read what this mysterious gift is.... so many ideas come to mind what it could be... but most ideas may not be the most appropiate haha! Improve your marriage... that could be taken a number of ways.... hmmmm.... maybe its a huge basket of things you need to survive being married to Pat? Ear plugs (and spares), duct tape, exedrin migrane, allergy meds, room spray and reed diffusers, mop, broom, vaccuum, and a robotic maid... maybe some more cleaning supplies as well? LOL The maid of course would be to improve things becasue then you wouldn't have to clean up afer him HHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
ReplyDelete