Thirty Minus.... Zero

    Well, it happened. I failed my New Year's goal #5... I turned 30. No longer am I a "30 minus 1" or a "29 and 3/4".... I am just a "30". Everyone always gets so jazzed up about this birthday for some reason. Sure, the days of the youthful twenties have passed, it's halfway to 60, and your uterus takes a nosedive toward the island of Menopause.... But really, what's wrong with the number 30 anyways?
     If we were talking waist measurements, this number would be a vast improvement on the pant-size I'm currently rocking (thank God women's clothing is seldom listed in inches. It's a wonder more men don't off themselves in department store dressing rooms...). And if I recall correclty, Baskin Robins was made popular by offering just a little more than 30 flavors (and you can't argue with ice cream success....you just can't). And if it weren't for every 30 or so days (ahem), there wouldn't be a human race here to even complain about this daunting number in the first place.... In fact, Webster's defines "the 30's" as a stage in young adulthood..... YOUNG adulthood! That's what I'm talking about, right there! I mean, even Jesus totally started cranking out the coolest miracles and saved all mankind in his early 30's... So I say, if it's good enough for Webster and the Messiah, it's good enough for me! I may have failed goal #5, but I'm pretty sure that my 30's are going to be far from failing.

Urine Coffee

    Have you ever ordered a cup of coffee and then regretted it the moment it hits your tongue? I'm not sure why, but it tastes like some coffee shops wrap their beans in dirty socks before brewing time. With that being said, I'm pretty sure that I made the world's WORST pot of coffee today. I know this to be true because I'm pretty sure that I made coffee using one of my client's urine (Beat that, Starbucks!). Allow me to explain....
    So, I was at work and preparing to run a group therapy session on the Power of Positive Thinking. Now, knowing that the people in attendance were going to be begging for it as soon as they sat down, I beat everyone to the punch and ran back to the sink to start making the coffee. (World's nicest therapist, right?) As I reached the back, I noticed that someone was in the restroom right next to the sink I was using. I had the water running and began washing out the coffee pot. As I was doing this, the water changed colors (you guessed it-yellow).... figuring that this was residue from the coffee pot, I didn't think much about it. The water soon began to run clear again and I filled the pot with water and poured it into the maker. Everyone began drinking heartily.
    Had my head not been consumed with planning the session, I may have noticed the odd smell from the sink when I ran the water (occurring at the exact same time that I heard the toilet flush).... or the pipes running from the sink I was using to the wall of the bathroom.... or had I gone into the bathroom, I may have noticed the fact that those pipes connected directly to the toilet that was being used while I was rinsing out the coffee pot. I only noticed these things AFTER the coffee was gone and I went back to wash my hands (wondering why the heck I smelled like pee!). I heard the toilet flush while I was washing and, once again, yellow liquid (now known to be URINE) came pouring out of the faucet. This time there was no mistaking the smell.... no coffee grounds masking the aroma of grossness. I don't recall if it was panic or dry heaves that set in first, but both of them rivaled for my immediate attention.

    Hopefully everyone was thinking positive thoughts about the coffee....